Santa Claus leads a gang that includes the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.
Bad guys bewareand watch the trailer here
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First things first: Rise of the Guardians should not be confused with Legends of the Guardians, the 2010 owl cartoon.
Nor should it be confused with The Guardian, the 2006 Kevin Costner coastguard film; or Lancelot: Guardian of Time, the 1997 Marc Singer time travel film; any of the countless flicks called Guardian Angel that have ever been made, or the news publication that you're currently reading.
Rise of the Guardians is completely separate to all of these things.
But that doesn't hide the fact that, with a title this vague, Rise of the Guardians could feasibly be about anything.
So far, we know that it's animated, that Chris Pine, Hugh Jackman and Alec Baldwin provide the voices, and that Guillermo del Toro is on executive producer duty.
And that's it.
Fortunately, a Rise of the Guardians trailer is here to help fill in some of the blanks.
Let's take a closer look:
1) Here we meet our hero, Jack Frost.
He's probably a lot younger than you were expecting, and generally much more like Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell than anybody could have possibly hoped for, but who are we to argue with Guillermo del Toro? If he says that this is what Jack Frost looks like, then this is what Jack Frost looks like. 2) Anyway, Jack Frost is a carefree soul who spends his days zooming around making snow everywhere he goes.
He's never happier than when he's winging a snowball right into the side of a toddler's head as hard as he can.
Let's not beat around the bush here: Jack Frost is probably a bit of a turd. 3) However, everything changes when some hairy beasts corner Jack Frost and throw him through a portal to another dimension.
This is so that Jack Frost can join a super-team called the Guardians, who are definitely not like the Avengers in any way at all. 4) For example, the leader of the Guardians is Santa Claus.
Was Santa Claus in The Avengers? No he wasn't.
They're completely different films. 5) Also in the Guardians: the Tooth Fairy.
Did the Avengers have a token female in its crew who wasn't quite as well-written as the others and only seemed to be there to pout for the boys? Well, fine, admittedly yes it did.
But did Scarlett Johansson collect teeth for a living? No.
Completely different to The Avengers, then. 6) Nor did The Avengers feature a Sandman.
Basically, you should get the idea that Rise of the Guardians is a rip-off of The Avengers right out of your mind for good. 7) And, look, the Easter Bunny is in Rise of the Guardians as well.
Did The Avengers have a bullishly aggressive member who couldn't get on with the others but eventually put his differences aside for the greater good? Well, yes, actually.
That was all of The Avengers.
But that's probably just a coincidence. 8) More proof that Rise of the Guardians isn't The Avengers: the Guardians don't have to team up in order to defeat Loki.
Instead, they just have to team up in order to defeat a baddie who looks quite a lot like Loki.
Which isn't the same thing at all.
And, you know, the Avengers travelled around in an unconventional flying vehicle.
The Guardians don't have anything like that. 9) Unless you count this unconventional flying vehicle that they all fly around in, obviously.
But you shouldn't. 10) And then right before the start of the third act, the Guardians form a circle in the middle of the street as the baddies close in on them and the camera pans around them, and...
oh, who am I kidding? Rise of the Guardians is exactly like The Avengers.
Exactly, right down to the camerawork.
There's even a portal to another dimension in it, for crying out loud.
It probably ends with the Tooth Fairy saving the day by pushing a stick into a thing on top of a skyscraper, too.
Stupid Rise of the Guardians.
AnimationFamilyGuillermo del ToroAlec BaldwinHugh JackmanStuart Heritageguardian.co.uk © 2012 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies.
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